And I have asked myself for three years now whether living is worth it when living hurts more than anything and when there's only the possibility that someday it might not hurt as much.

Of course, I can't talk about myself as a cellist without talking about myself as a person.

Still, there are more reasons why I have to go to this audition than reasons to stay at home.

I realize that I need to cry and I can't. This is a familiar feeling to me.