How to communicate effectively: a partial guide

This is incomplete. It's immature. It's biased. But it's what I've learned, and I figure it's better than nothing.

1. Be honest with yourself.

This is the most difficult thing I've ever tried to do. There's really no template for it. Some things that might help include (a) listening to your friends when they notice things about you and gradually beginning to notice those patterns yourself; (b) making the distinctions between external and internal expectations as clear in your head as you can; (c) recognizing that there are things you never have to tell anyone else, and things you probably should never tell anyone else; (d) noticing your reactions and not necessarily trying to find a cause for them. All of this is difficult, and it can be painful, and I don't know how to make it less difficult.

2. You don't have to say everything.

This is a big one. Sometimes, saying something can actually hurt more than it helps. I'm still working on internalizing this and learning when to speak and when not to speak, so I'm not sure I have any advice.

3. When you do say something, do your best to say it in a way that is as clear and as painless as possible.

Sometimes, hurting another person is inevitable. Often, it's avoidable. Listen to how the person you're communicating with uses words, and listen to how they respond when you use words, and adjust accordingly. A lot of this is about unspoken cues. A lot of it is based on things that neurotypical people pick up more easily. But that doesn't mean it's impossible for neurodivergent people to learn to do it.

4. Recognize that you will make mistakes and that is okay.

5. Relax! Try not to overthink.

Communicating is really hard. Sometimes you can overcommunicate, and that might be just as bad as not communicating enough.