Auditions, tests, and other evils

The other day, I was at an organizational meeting for the contemporary ensemble at my school, and the director said, among other things, "Taking an orchestra audition is like taking the SAT."

I took the SAT when I was a junior in high school. I'd taken standardized tests before -- the PSAT and some AP exams -- but the SAT was longer. I did fine, my score was good enough to get me into music school, and I was glad it was over. The SAT is one test, and you can take it multiple times, but it's not required, nor is it necessary for your survival.

Tests are a necessary evil, and I understand the concept and many of the reasons why they exist, but they don't inspire me. They aren't why I chose to be a musician. Auditions are my least favourite part of my chosen career, because I'm playing for people who know the music and who are exhausted because they have to hear 50 other auditions on the same day. I could see this as a challenge: how do I inspire these people, how do I communicate to them something in the music that they haven't heard before?

I don't want to do that.

The excerpts that we play for these auditions are 30 seconds long. That isn't my style of artistry. I need time, I need to be able to begin and gain momentum. I will work on details forever, because there are always new levels of mastery, but I need to feel the sweep of the work. I need to be caught in it and let it carry me, because that's when I communicate best.

I play these excerpts, and they're over. Then, sometimes, I get to play the pieces they're from. That always feels bittersweet, because I've spent so much time with one half-minute section that the rest of the piece is new, but that section isn't, and I'm in a weird limbo where I'm waiting for the part I know, and while I'm waiting, I miss it.

Orchestra auditions are standardized. There's room for individuality, but it's within a certain framework. They're designed to test technical prowess and musicality, but they're not fully accurate tests. Accurate tests would involve having candidates play in the section, hearing how they blend with the others, and seeing how they convey their joy to the audience. I don't believe anyone should be a performer if they don't love and enjoy performing, and in my experience, auditions suck the joy out.

Maybe they don't for everyone. That has to be the case, because a lot of people have successful orchestra careers and they talk about it with evident affection.

This is maybe 2/3 of a post? I've run out of things to say, for now. Enjoy.