Another poem

knit one

the first row is the foundation
not too tight
leave room to grow
don’t fall too fast too soon
let them breathe

the bulk of the pattern is repetition
routine
boredom
imperfection
sometimes i mess up
knit one row tighter or looser
drop a stitch, add one
forget the pattern for a few seconds
pull too hard on the yarn and the fibres separate
sometimes i can tie the two ends together and keep knitting
other times the mistake is too big, too little to fix

see it start to grow as the balls of yarn shrink
i made this
slightly inconceivable, but beautiful
don’t want it to end

but eventually we come to the last row
my soul is knitted with yours
i cast off the stitches
it doesn’t smell of you, but it does
ten years from now i will be wearing this scarf and i will cry
for no reason except that i see a dog whose fur is the colour of your eyes
i would live a thousand bad days for the memory of the good ones we had
these tears, these stitches knit together what is left, they let me be sad
twenty years from now i will give this scarf away
and our memories will join the new ones it makes

the last row is the foundation
not too tight
leave room to grow
let myself love
breathe